Anger Management

Anger is one of the most common emotions that someone in a long distance relationship feels. Lets examine what feelings can lead to anger -

Frustration with your partner/relationship => Anger

Miscommunication => Anger

Lack of control => Anger

Sacrifices that you have to make to be in the relationship => Anger

Even if you have committed yourself mind, body and soul, to the relationship, the natural stress and strain of being apart from the one you love can result in anger. So it becomes important to understand this primal emotion and control it. Learning to recognize the early signs of anger and preventing the situation from escalating beyond control is also a necessary skill to possess to have a successful long-distance relationship.

John Gottman, mentioned in Blink, is one of the world’s foremost experts on relationships and his research is the foundation for this article on anger.

Here’s an excerpt -

“Gottman’s research found the four behaviors that destroy a relationship/marriage are:

CRITICISM–blaming, finding fault, nit picking over small things

CONTEMPT –disgust, name-calling, cursing, and being hateful. Disgust over time builds up into the decision to separate

DEFENSIVENESS –not taking responsibility for own stuff, turning the blame back on your partner

STONEWALLING –refusing to deal with the issue, minimal zing the problem, inability to deal with conflict, walking away angry

Gottman can detect these four behaviors within the first 3 minutes of a conversation! He can predict with 96% accuracy, which marriages will succeed and which will fail from these first three minutes of the fight!”